log 517

Last friday, the food supply in the house was running low, to the point where I couldn’t make anything decent. So I decided to go out for dinner.

Should I…
##The guys##

Call Anthony-
no, he’s busy on friday nights with his gf. He probably won’t even answer the call. Some people just treasure their time with that someone so much that they will ignore calls. I respect that.

Call Edmond-
probably, he always knows what’s going on and when there’s something to do.

Call Eric-
dude lives too far.

Call Tony-
He seems to be always busy. And I don’t really remember where he lives, but I think it’s a bit further than I’m willing to travel for a casual dinner. (I consider 20min drive to be too far)

Call Victor-
I should, consider we haven’t met up in a long while. But we do have a very different definition of what a good meal is. I rate my meals on quality, service and atmosphere.

##the girls##
Call Aileen-
Would like to…but it’s always awkward. The last time we had dinner together she doesn’t seem that happy. Maybe it’s just fatigue after work….maybe it’s just something with me, but she never seem happy or glad to see me.

Call Margaret-
Even more awkward, because she’s not single and we don’t have many common friends. Furthermore, we usually don’t meet up that often. I think last year was the most…3 or 4 times was it?

Call Vicky-
Again…awkward. Started as a business relationship working on a website. Hoping to keep a friendship. I will probably call her for lunch every now and then, since the place she works isn’t too far from school. She’s smart and pretty, that said, she’s probably got a bf. Maybe it’s just my old fashion mindset, but it never seems right to be at a 1 on 1 situation with girls who are involved. Why don’t it ask? Dumbass, at this day and age, asking implies you’ve taken an interest at the person. That’ll just create more awkwardness.

##my friends overseas##
hm….yea sure…even if I have the $$, I doubt you can teleport yourself here that quick. I will call you guys up when/if I’m on vacation and heading to where ever you are.

##everyone else I left out##
I work on a you don’t call me, I don’t call you bases. Meaning I’m a bit thick headed, if you don’t tell me you would like to hang out or eat or whatever, I won’t know you are interested.

—————————–
so what happened?
I called Edmond, nothing was going on for Friday night. So I header across the street to my usual place for food alone. I really like that place, food is economically sound, and I always get a window booth.

lately I’ve been under a lot of pressure from school, work and mostly myself.
I don’t think I can take it anymore. It’s time to stop wasting time, I know my goal and I know how to attain it. I will not take on anymore freelence job. I will finish the ones on hand and end it (I will still accept the offers from my HK friends, since those are more of a favour). I will concentrate my efforts into improving my Japanese speaking and reading skills. And I will learn to play the guitar then learn to ride a motorcycle.  I think these are the stuff I need to do while I’m in Canada. I only have 2 years to achieve these but that should be enough. I’ve already proved to myself that I am a very employable resource. Eventhough I have not gotten any solid offers, I know finding a job will be easy for me. I really need to prioritize my life.

why am I always the leader? why do I have to carry the team through the projects? Can’t I just leach in a productive group…even if it’s just for one project. >.<

it’s only the 2nd week since classes started, yet so much pressure has been building in me. Why’s that? I’m working on 2 freelence jobs, and I have a 3.9 GPA to keep up.  It’s not that difficult but in my mind, I keep reminding myself, "failure is not an option".  I have such a yearning for perfection. Anyway around 3 today, my body just total gave out. Unconscious for a few hours,…now I’m back and ready to do it all over again. Must reach beyond 100%. 

New school term just started and it’s already time to apply for my second coop placement. You know what’s scary? I had to boot off my first graphics job from my work experience list to keep things under 2 pages. Assuming that I will take a 3rd work term. By the time I grad, I would have to boot another 2 from the list.

of the 6 courses I’m in(yes, count them, 6), there’s only one I enjoy. Sigh….kinda wish I took the contract and stay working. Then again…not really. I’ve already got most of what I can from that position, I need some new experience else i will be stuck as a web programmer forever. It’s not a bad thing. The internet is here to stay which guarantees me a job(but i need a career).  Anyway, i’m still pretty unsatisfy  with the parking situation. I think seneca and york took in more students this year. I don’t remember the parking lot beinng that full last year. Worst of all, I don’t see any of my classmates whom I deem worthy to be project partners.  Alone I will stand and fight….but i refuse to drag alone dead weights.

my old 17" monitor is dyng. often times, it won’t show anythiing but a blank screen and the led flashing. I know it’s time too get a new one….but after today, I just don’t feel like spending. stupid parking permits are sold out, so i’ll have to dish out $7-800 for parking this sem.  >.<

stupid elections are cominng  up, who am i gonna vote for? whoever is the first to figure out increasing the number of immigrants is a bad idea and promise to do something about it. The whole thing with pumping the population with immigrants is to get  more young people in the city. What politicians  don’t realize is that most immigrants will apply to get their parent over to Canada to enjoy the abundance of health/medical and all other benefits.  So having more immigrants is actuallly making things worst. Politicians should be more focused on making Toronto a more youth oriented city. Wake up and smell the brain drain!

There’re only 2 types of people who do not think self improvement is important.

The first the those who already achieved it and run your face with it any chance they get. Those we call snob.

The second are those who know they’ve already reached their limit and are powerless to further ahead. Those we call losers.

To not become neither, I will work hard, do whatever it takes to perpetually improve in every and any way. 

=@_@=

Just yesterday, I learned my friend AC will be leaving for HK end of Feb.  ….wow…another friend leaving. It’s the 3rd one in the last 3 months. Wish you all the best. I know you are going to achieve something great.